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Sorry for the late post. Last week I was on vacation and today right after the show I had a battle of the “Who The F*** Knows?” that had me take a near 6-hour pit stop at the hospital for some abdominal pains. I’m fine. They gave me the NFL-approved Toradol and I can see why the players love it. I could have a broken leg and run the Mini Marathon right now.
Enough about me. Okay, one last thing. Since I didn’t have a chance to write last week’s edition I don’t want to cheat you out of some great, unique takes that you can’t get anywhere else. So if your brain can go back to Week 13 here’s some quick hitters: The Steelers are in trouble after their shocking loss to the Cardinals, the Panthers and Patriots are truly ass and a below .500 team not named the Panthers is going to win the NFC South.
Okay, now that that’s out of the way let’s get to Week 14!
Good Scary: Dak Prescott, Cowboys Look Legit…Like For Real This Time
It seems like an annual tradition since Troy Aikman traded his cleats for a broadcast booth that the Dallas Cowboys are always good but not good enough to win the Super Bowl. They get all the headlines, the national TV and the self-proclaimed “America’s Team” nickname but they always fall on their faces when the postseason arrives. This year looks different. And this is coming from a guy who loves watching the Packers and Cowboys lose. Dak Prescott has been on an absolute tear in his last eight games. Over 2,400 yards passing, 69-percent (NICE!) completion percentage, 25 touchdowns, just two interceptions and the Cowboys going 7-1 in that stretch. They manhandled the Eagles on national TV, they’re 7-0 at Jerry World this season and will really get to see what they’re made of with three of their final four games on the road: at Bills, at Dolphins, Lions and at Commanders. Don’t look now, but “How ‘Bout Them Cowboys?” might not be a punchline for much longer.
Bad Scary: Colts Miss Golden Opportunity For Clearer Path To Playoffa
No Joe Burrow, no problem for the Bengals. Cincinnati steamrolled the Colts on Sunday afternoon. It was a game that was tied at one point but the Bengals gashed the Colts on screen passes, timely turnovers and taking advantage of a very rare off day for kicker Matt Gay. Jake Browning tossed 275 yards and a pair of touchdowns while rushing for another and the Bengals defense, who has been awful at stopping the run, gave Zach Moss a paltry 28 yards on 13 carries. Woof. The Colts could have really used that win to cement themselves in the playoff picture but now at 7-6, finds themselves in a truly jumbled AFC. The Colts join the Steelers, Bengals, Bills, Texans and Broncos all at 7-6 and now their Saturday game against the Steelers has a “must win” feel about it.
Bad Scary: Vikings-Raiders Was A Historically Crappy Game
3-0. The Vikings “improved” to 7-6 on the season thanks to Greg Joseph’s 36-yard field goal with under 2 minutes left in regulation. Over 58 minutes of scoreless football with Aidan O’Connell, Joshua Dobbs and Nick Mullens throwing the pill. “Throwing the pill” is something anyone in attendance for that game should have been searching for on the Vegas Strip to try their best to forget what their eyes just witnessed. They tied the lowest-scoring game in NFL history and had to have been shown on NFL RedZone only when every other game was in commercial break.
Bad Scary: Patrick Mahomes Bitching About A Blatant Offside Penalty
Patrick Mahomes has seemingly done all the right things since coming into the league but Sunday’s temper tantrum over Kadarius Toney’s blatant offside penalty that negated a go-ahead touchdown and an incredibly awesome Travis Kelce highlight showed a rare unflattering view of the Chiefs QB. Saying the penalty call was “the worst f***ing call I’ve ever seen in my life” in Josh Allen’s earshot is tone deaf at best and someone who has rarely been on the receiving end of calls going against his team. Toney was clearly offsides and the only excuses that Mahomes and Andy Reid used involved it being “not the right time” for the call to be made and turn the tide in the game for the Bills. It wasn’t the last play of the game. The Chiefs had a couple more chances to try and score and failed. Their wide receivers stink this year and understandably Mahomes won’t go after his own guys. But to die on the hill of that clearly correct call was a bad look.
